Follow the yellow brick road

why is it that when you are so dedicated to making a change in your life, that you so quickly stumble? It's kinda like crack, or those lame teamwork seminars where you have this initial high and you're like "YEAH!! LETS DO IT!!" and you think it will be all fairies and butterflies and joyfulness...and it is for awhile. Momentary bliss, nothing can get you down. And then BOOM! you hit a wall and you begin to question yourself and what you set out to do in the first place. I hate that. I don't know why i lie to myself, and just expect everything to fall into place. I mean, that is definitely the dreams of an idealist. (which i am, I'll admit it) but dang. Maybe i worry too much, and maybe i have a tendency to over analyze but still. It seems like things aren't really going according to my perfect little plan. And maybe that is my exact problem. I am trying to control my life, which is IMPOSSIBLE!!! I am getting upset because life isn't going according to my perfect little fairy tale. I want to live out God's plan for my life. I know that might sound corny or just lame but to tell you the truth i don't care because i know it's right. I know that God's plan for my life far exceeds any other plan i might have. And maybe in the end, the world might not see anything to be lusted after or yearned after, but i know that in God's kingdom i will have done something amazing. So, i don't know, this is turning into rambling, but it is really helping my thoughts fall into some semblance of order. I just hope that i can stay on the path He has for me, and not wander...it's so hard not to wander...